Happy birthday to my son's Father

Happy birthday to my son's father ...
who is incarcerated.
Although you wont be released Until TJs scheduled for college graduation, and are unable to provide me any support, I continue to pray that one day you will grow into the man you son believes you are..
And
I thank God that my son does have a father. Although you are not physically present I hope you are mentally present.

This year TJ found out there is no Santa.. As tough as my 10year old is he has a very big soft spot and on the very inside. i know he was hoping that Santa maybe was real and wasn't paying attention like his mom was all year. Maybe he would overlook all that had happened to possibly bring him back to the 21at century.

Suspensions , tough times, attitudes, and additional chores have made 2012 a difficult year to get through during TJs 10th year on earth and, he had been reduced to checkers, connect 4, various board games , writing definitions, and reading books for extracurricular activities and just maybe Santa would go hard in 2012 and bring him back!

However the limited decor around the house from his always crafty mother, and the words "indefinite punishment" around Thanksgiving was a big indication that pickins would be slim on Jesus' Birthday..

Come 12/25 The indication was correct and although clothes, shoes, and moms idea of fun adorned be tree ( i.e a new dictionary for his 15 definitions a day, a new toothbrush, towels , wash cloths, 50 pairs of socks 1 pair of tennis shoes, 1 pair of boots, a new bookbag etc) the fact that gifts were essential in nature revealed there indeed was no Santa.. No big surprises this year..

He was initially quite upset that I had lied so long but was quickly entertained when he realized I had been the one making dreams come true for so long.

I told him son this is just a crash course in believing.. Think back wasnt it fun o believe, and when it really happened didnt that feel great.. Unfortunately you've now had to learn that even tho the things you once believed in are now deemed to be false fake etc.. When you look back know that because you believed gifts were still bestowed upon you..

And although you now find that the reality was not totally 100% accurate.. Remember wishes still came true , and when you look back the intentions i had were based in love.... although delivered deceitfully love was still the initial reason..

my point is hopefully at the crucial times in life.. When you wish for something.. Now you will know how. And I pray at hat time in life, the appearances are actually real ..

So in the back of my mind (back on the original subject ) as my son believes that his father is regretful for missing out on things in his life I hope that that is actually and exactly what is running through his mind as well vs the thoughts that got him where he is in the first place..

And I pray behind those walls you re growing and maturing and bettering yourself the right way because that's what my son believes and that's an image I want to actually be true